Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
