I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
