He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
