Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
