I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
