Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Of course I have a pirate flag
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
