why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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