Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
