I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
