Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
