Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
