Your face is a jimmy john
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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