in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
