Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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