well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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