some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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