every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
