Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
