see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
