I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
