I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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