I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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