I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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