there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Text me some of your sweat
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
