I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
