I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
