thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
