Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
