the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
