Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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