The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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