1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
