You're so nebulous sometimes
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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