3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
