Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Non-Jews are for practice
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
