i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also, beer. Big fan.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
