I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
ugly people sure do ruin things
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
