the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
