dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
