First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
