Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
