Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
