i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
