Your tits are I can't wait for
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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