a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
