After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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