I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The air was thick with penises
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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