he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
