where am i from again
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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