i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
