Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
